3 MINDFUL STEPS TO AVOID THE PITFALLS OF COMPARISON

You’ve already made the choice to show up for yourself and build that brand, start that project /blog, and create a lifestyle that honors your needs and desires, right? How amazing!

But when it comes to finding motivation, we’ve all crossed that line – once or twice – between finding inspiration from others and completely losing the plot in endless comparison to their success, brilliance, and (perceived) 100% got-it-together-ness. How could we not get lost in the sheer design wonder of Rachel MacDonald's site or the she-makes-it-look-messy-and-beautiful authenticity of Mara Glatzel?

I have been in the comparison pit, bought the t-shirt, and made a scrapbook of my exploits to prove it. I’ve even extended my stay. Because staying in that mindset of comparing keeps us from hunkering down and doing the hard work of our lives – the hard work that leads to feelings of insecurity and vulnerability.

So, of course we compare. There’s - temporary - comfort in staying stuck and safe. 

The true relief lies in reeling in our minds and steering them back to what got us started in the first place. Insert this week's #MomentofOm.

By taking a #momentofom, you are going to find empowerment, release from comparison + engagement w YOUR process.tweet this text!

When I notice my heart rate racing, my mind fritzing like an electric wire gone rogue because I’ll never measure up, I pause and get back to reality. The truth is I don’t want what others have and if I did, that’s just too bad, it’s not mine. What I have are my feet, headed in the direction of my choosing, in this moment alone. To me, that's freeing.

                                                                                                                                                                                             via adorkably.net

OM YOUR WAY OUT OF THE COMPARISON GAME:

> Take a breather. Put down that book, turn off that screen, put a pause on your mental jumping jacks. Return to the moment, using your senses and your breathing as anchors. This puts a stop to the worrying and projecting into the future. And, oh, does that feel nice.

> Ask yourself WHY? instead of WHAT? For me, what I want is to build my blog and maybe make some gas money while at it. And I want to do that because I want to live an authentic life. The why is connecting with people in quality ways, not in quantity or for popularity. When we live by our values, first, and goals, second, we put the ball back in our court. Focusing on what makes our lives full, allows us to let go of comparison, and frees up emotional + mental space for our own achievement. 

> Repeat to yourself: I don’t have to be perfect. I’m doing the best I can.

Damn if I don’t feel better already!

All you have to do is you, and I promise you babe, that's going to be enough. 

TELL ME, BABES: What do you do when you’re overwhelmed by the Comparison Game?
Leave a comment!

P.S. Want more on using mindfulness + self compassion to achieve your goals? Check out my ebook! 

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HOW TO BUILD CONFIDENCE: TIPS FOR WHOLEHEARTED LIVING

The week I started Om Plus Om, one of my favorite self-employed bloggers and biz savvy role models, Sarah Von Bargen wrote about figuring out the we’re-told-is-super-important why of her business. Ya know, something for the posters.

Why did she choose to work for herself fulltime? Was it a grand calling to help people create their very own productive, fulfilling corners of the internet? Kinda. 

Truthfully, though, it was really for herself. What she wanted was freedom, so she made it happen. Huzzah! 

Also that week, Elizabeth Gilbert (swoon) announced her new book, Big Magic, which taps into the very core of what Om Plus Om is all about: self expression as essential to health and happiness. Huzzah again!

So I took – heck, why not – what I saw as the signs in Sarah’s self-affirmation and Elizabeth’s validation and I gave myself an ol’ pat on the back and thought: go get it, girl. Their writing helped make the decision to commit to Om Plus Om easier. I wish I could say it made it easy.

I already knew: 

> I wanted to work for myself so that I could babysit my nephew + take walks on the beach any time of day.
> My wellbeing depended on self-expression + building a creative practice.
> I wanted to reach + help people.
> I got a high from taking someone’s precious online business and putting words together like a puzzle to help that business grow. 

I knew that both Om Plus Om had a higher purpose to help others and a ‘selfish’ one: ME (and my little munchkin nephew). But the truth is living authentically and choosing me is hard work. There’s doubt, self-criticism, uncertainty. But whenever you feel pressure to make choices based on something outside yourself, the antidote is allowing yourself to ask What do I want? What feels right?

Want to raise a family? Do it. Want to stay kid-free so you can keep your clean (or totally messy) house all for yourself? Good choice, good reason. Work from home because you’re addicted to your soap operas. Start a design business because it comes naturally to you. Choosing something solely because it's right for us is both rewarding and hard.

Give yourself permission to choose yourself because it's hard. Choosing authenticity is the kind of challenge we know will pay off. tweet this text!

IT COMES DOWN TO THIS, BABES: Making decisions is hard, big or small, let's be real. But when we listen to our intuition and act on it, we build self trust. Then it gets easier to let go of worry. We figure out that things won’t go as planned but we keep it together anyway because we know we’re headed in the right direction. We know how to ask ourselves What do I want? And we know it’s ok to say I want ME. 

This is big work. Take a deep breath, babe, and honor that. Sarah gives permission to choose you, this week's #MomentofOm - brought to by Olivia Effing Pope - gives you the courage. Dare to choose yourself, again and again.

I want my passions and abilities to thrive. I want resiliency and confidence. I want ME. To get that, I rise to the challenge of fulfilling these small dreams, insecurity and vulnerability in tow. 

Intuiting a desire doesn’t make acting on it easy. But taking that leap makes you a warrior of wholehearted living.  tweet this text!

TELL ME, BABES: How have you been challenged to listen to your gut? What lessons have you learned? From whom? Leave a comment! 

Want more mindful tips to get you up + into your life? Thought so. Check out my ebook, here.