3 TIPS for AUTHENTIC LIVING (that will save your life!)

So often, when I tell people that I am a writer, the response I get is “That’s great. I wish I could do that. I’ve been journaling for decades, but I’m not a writer.”

You know what makes someone a writer? Whether or not they, ya know, write. A person with half a million journals filled with personal reflection is a person who has most passionately and intentionally built a creative practice that works. This person is a producer.

Producing art is a form of creativity. It is the creative output of artists. But everyone has a creative fire within them. I knew a woman who thrived off connecting families in need of specific household items with churches and non profits that had these items to donate. The help-others aspect was a huge part of why she loved it. But she also loved the puzzle of it: figuring out the logistics, cataloging supply and demand. She expressed her truest self by thinking up imaginative ways to solve the problems of the families she met through her work.

What keeps us from turning towards this part of ourselves?

> The fear of being alone. When we change our behaviors, those around notice. We tell ourselves that even though I’m unhappy with myself, at least I’m showing up for others is the lesser of two evils. The other evil being the possibility that if I show up for myself, even a little bit, people will judge or abandon me. Bull. Shit. When we honor ourselves and release the pent up energy of inauthenticity, a rush of lovely energy flows in. Aren’t you more attracted to confident people who walk their walk and own it? Thought so.

> The fear of the unknown. Creating and playing as a big bad adult feels raw. It is is daring to do someting outside our comfort zone. It's uncomfortable. That rawness is uncomfortable but it is beautiful. Like Brene Brown teaches, vulnerability is the seed of vibrancy. Let go of the outcome, and know that, in engaging that vulnerable side, you are rocking it hardcore.

> Critical Mind. There’s something about creative expression that our minds instinctively say For real? That’s kids stuff. So effing what? Listening to the belittling voice of self-doubt is useless. It de-energizes us and keeps us stuck. I’d much rather look a fool covered in paint with a bunch of other paint-covered authentic peeps than be in constant worry that I’m doing something wrong. 

We push ourselves in so many aspects of our lives. We strive to be reliable and respected at work. We always want to do the best by our children. We want to live up to the idea we have in our minds of who we should be. But we do this at the expense of being who we are. 

When we live without honoring our need for play and expression, we are not only being unfulfilled emotionally, but also physically at risk. 

According to Christine Northrup, M.D. our issues are in our tissues. A lifestyle which does not address our deepest desires causes disease. It is akin to living with physical trauma.

But this issue of ‘deepest desire’ stuff is not and does not have to be some extreme life-makeover involving candles and feathers and luscious turquoise pashminas and retreats into the wilderness (though that sounds pretty fine by me). 

Before I started Om Plus Om, I was stuck and, by my own definition, not a writer. I wasn’t producing. My mind was foggy and I couldn’t find it in me to get my ass in the chair to write. I told my friends about how stunted I felt and when they threw back at me the on line I use when coaching others, they’d ask what do you want? Then I kind of did this thing with my hands; I wiggled my fingers and said I want to make something. I want to get dirty.

I started a scrapbook. I tore pages from magazines and got glue everywhere. I made a mess and wanted to make a bigger one. So I got up from my bedroom floor, all covered in scraps and stained with marker, and I went outside and started digging. Before I’d gotten any seed. 

I couldn’t not do something – make something – anymore. 

My body ached for a while, but not as much as it had in my paralysis. My mind skipped and wondering and felt out of control with ideas and thoughts, but not as painfully as when it’d been stuck on self-critical, despairing auto-pilot.

Steps to help you do your thang:

> Prepare for that critical mind. It’s gonna come up and it’s gonna scream. Scrappingbooking?! How is this helpful? The practice of overcoming this voice is the most powerful way to reclaim your mind and life. Where the mind goes, so go you. There is such strength in heading in a different direction.

> Play. Remember that this is just for now. Whatever you’re desire is, think of it as play. And be secure in knowing that it is essential. Play is like experimentation. You are experimenting with ways to up the happy factor in your life. No big whoop (but kinda the biggest whoop).

> Connect with like minded people, online or through meetup.com or anywhere. Find a tribe or inspiring role models. Dismiss people who dismiss your efforts. Not. Worth. It. 

What do you want? 

With all the stress in your life, what could you do just today to make it easier? What could give you a little joy?

Your answer is your drum beat. Tomorrow it may change. But for today, answering the call to add joy is the way to honor your Self. It is the way to heal and be authentic.

Tell me, babes. Leave a comment!


No comments:

Post a Comment